MR. PLAY BY PLAY TAKES A LOOK AT-
POLITICIANS FAVORITE MOVIES
In his 2005 confirmation hearings
with congress, Supreme Court nominee John Roberts gave one of his only
straight answers, when he named his favorite films—Dr. Zhivago and
North By Northwest. 1 Hmm. David Lean and Alfred Hitchcock are both renowned
directors, but pretty safe picks, although neither is American, and that
alone is a little suspect these days. Given his investments in Pfizer
and Proctor & Gamble, one might expect Roberts to be a soap opera
fan, but no information on his TV viewing habits was available. When he
was in the Reagan administration, he wrote a still-classified memo about
funneling money to the Nicaraguan Contras, despite a congressional ban
on our government money being used to prop them up. Maybe he should watch
Under Fire and Salvador for an understanding of U.S.-funded South American
terror…
In fact, he’s not the only political figure to reveal his favorite
movies. When asked their favorite films, most self-serving politicos of
course cite a politically correct or socially relevant film like Dead
Poets Society or The Shawshank Redemption. Liking The Evil Dead movies
may not be politically viable for a few years yet. Here’s a list
of what these public figures want you to think they watch, and what they
probably REALLY watch. I’ve also included some films that maybe
they SHOULD watch, given their policies.
George W. Bush
The Decider aka Leaker-in-Chief, in the National Guard he trained on jets
planes that were being phased out of use in three months, played at the
oil business and being a baseball team owner, and as Prez gave the superrich
huge tax cuts and slashed infrastructure funding.
Stated Fave: Field of Dreams. 2
Dubya undoubtedly also likes Any Which Way But Loose, Austin Powers, end-times
“thriller” The Omega Code, and used to like Animal House (but
he thought it was a documentary!)
Needs to watch: Wild In the Streets, Gore’s global warming documentary
An Inconvenient Truth, Inherit The Wind, death row oopsie film The Thin
Blue Line, and V for Vendetta.
Laura Bush
First Lady and hot ex-librarian Laura and the twins loved Zoolander. 3
Given the fact that the girls found albums by Jimmy Cliff and Bob Marley
in their mom’s record collection, I’d say she enjoyed the
first couple of Cheech and Chong movies, too.
Needs to watch: One of the filmed versions of Lysistrata, a ancient Greek
play about wives refusing sex until their husbands stopped waging war.
George H.W. Bush
aka Bush the Elder, head of the CIA and criminal mastermind of Iran-Contra,
first sitting president to publicly recognize the New World Order, until
the “read my lips” statement sunk his political career.
Stated fave: Kenneth Branagh’s 1989 version of Henry V.4 (The right-wing
press years later erroneously compared his son Dubya post-9/11 to easy-going
wayward prince Hal’s maturation into statesmanlike warrior King
Henry V.) ?2
Probably likes: John Wayne movies and The Passion of the Christ.
Needs to watch: JFK. Because he was there, and could correct any mistakes
Stone might have made.
Senator Harry Reid
This democrat has changed his mind on immigration, voted for election-fixer
Antonin Scalia, and decided NOT to return over $40,000 from Indian casino
interests that were clients of disgraced D.C. lobbyist Jack Abramoff.
Three sons (and a son-in-law) are also lobbyists, even occasionally lobbying
their dad’s office.
Stated fave: Dr. Zhivago.5
Probably really watches: The Godfather.
He needs to watch: lobbyist parodies Thank You For Smoking and The Solid
Gold Cadillac, and Land of the Dead.
Bill Clinton
Sax-playing President that didn’t inhale, and re-definer of the
word “is”.
Stated fave: High Noon. 6
He had to like Primary Colors, too, even though he was being parodied.
He probably watches any Vivid Video production, and thought In The Company
Of Men was hilarious.
Needs to watch: 9 to 5 (The Dabney Coleman parts.)
Ex-Sen. John Edwards
Millionaire personal injury attorney and 2004 VP nominee. Led the deposition
of Monica Lewinsky, and spoke of “two Americas” while speechifying
for President.
Stated Faves: Dr. Strangelove 7 and The Shawshank Redemption.8
Probably also watches those John Grisham potboilers about our corrupt
legal system like Runaway Jury and The Firm.
Needs to watch: The Candidate and The Star Chamber.
Pat Buchanan
Nixon dirty trickster, anti-Semite, homophobe, and pompous self-appointed
Moral Guardian, but the only major Presidential candidate besides Nader
that spoke to the current stranglehold of multinational corporations,
and supported medical marijuana.
Stated fave: Shane. 9 Shane is a great western about a man sticking up
for the underdog, like he imagines himself to be. With his splitting the
Reform Party vote in 2000 and character issues in general, his personal
metaphor might be closer to A Fistful of Dollars, or The Good, The Bad
and the Ugly.
Needs to watch: A Handmaid’s Tale, a sci-fi film about the society
he thinks he’d like to live in. Oh, and Half-Baked.
Sen. Orrin Hatch
Famous Mormon anti-busing Senator and “inspirational” music
recording artist advocated destroying the computers of file-sharing scofflaws,
supported a Supreme Court nominee who compared homosexuality to bestiality,
and introduced an amendment to the Constitution so that naturalized U.S.
citizen Arnold Schwarzenegger could run for President.
He claims To Kill A Mockingbird as his favorite movie.10
He probably likes: The Ten Commandments and Driving Miss Daisy.
But really needs to watch Brokeback Mountain, Pumping Iron, The Harder
They Fall and Mormon comedy Sons of Provo.
Sen. Arlen Specter
It’s hard out here for a Pro-choice Jewish Republican! Member of
the Warren Commission and architect of The Magic Bullet Theory, Specter
interrogated Anita Hill and let Arturo Gonzales testify without being
under oath.
Stated fave: Gone With The Wind.11
Probably watches: Private Benjamin and Sleeper.
Needs to watch: The Zapruder film, over and over and over again, until
he gets it right!
Sen. Joe Biden
Amtrak-riding Iraq policy watchdog that tried to get a straight answer
out of Judge John Roberts, and was accused of plagiarizing part of a speech.
Stated Fave: Dead Poets Society.12
Probably watches: The Usual Suspects and Catwoman.
Should watch: The Squid and the Whale and The 400 Blows, and The Taking
of Pelham 1-2-3.
Sen. John Kerry
2004 Democratic Presidential candidate, celery-hating Harry Dean Stanton
look-a-like bass player and Vietnam vet, married to Heinz ketchup heir
but dislikes tomatoes.
Stated fave: The Blues Brothers.13 Woah, dude picked out kind of a party
movie, but at least he didn’t say Beverly Hills Cop! The famous
quote “We’re on a mission from God” sounds like a line
from his competitors.
Probably watches The Way You Do That Thing You Do and American Graffiti.
Maybe he should watch 3 O’Clock High or The Karate Kid, movies on
standing up to bullies when they take something from you, like, um, maybe
an election or something. How many thousands of uncounted provisional
ballots were never counted in Ohio?
Sen. John McCain
Mean-tempered Arizona senator, member of the Keating Five, Vietnam vet
and former POW, answered criticism of his appearance in recent comedy
Wedding Crashers by saying he is “working with boobs all the time
in Washington.”
Stated fave: Paths of Glory. 14 Great Jim Thompson-scripted anti-war movie
by Stanley Kubrick! Hard to criticize that choice. Personally, I always
think of McCain whenever I see Christopher Walken do his famous “watch”
monologue in Pulp Fiction.
He probably watches: About Schmidt.
Given his move to court Jerry Falwell and the neocon vote for the 2008
Republican presidential nomination, maybe he should watch Mitchum’s
classic turn as religious psycho in Night of the Hunter.
Rep. Susan Collins
Maine Republican Representative stated 1939’s The Wizard of Oz to
be her favorite film.15 She was criticized that her committee refused
to hold hearings on no-bid Iraq contracts awarded to Halliburton. Pay
no attention to the men behind the curtain.
Perhaps she also liked the same year’s Gone With The Wind, particularly
the portion about carpetbaggers.
Needs to watch: The Corporation and Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room.
Bill O’Reilly
Failed newsman and right-wing phony, Clooney-hater and loofah fan O’Reilly
has a whole page of recommended films on his website, running the gamut
from Dirty Harry and Young Frankenstein to Easy Rider! 16 Fucking closet
hippie!
Really watches: Caddyshack, old Wally George videotapes, Crimes of Passion.
He needs to watch: North Country, the recent Charlize Theron film about
sexual harassment. Should also be made to viddy a marathon of Three Kings,
Syriana and Good Night, and Good Luck with eyes forced open, ala Clockwork
Orange.
Donald Rumsfeld
Arrogant 800-pound gorilla of the Department of Defense, who doesn’t
do diplomacy. Seen as a dove by Nixon staffers, Rummy later convinced
then-President Ford to veto an expansion of the Freedom Of Information
Act (it was overridden by congress.) Says SecDef, “Death has a tendency
to encourage a depressing view of war.”
Don’t know what he says he likes to watch.
Really watches: The Faces of Death and Guinea Pig films.
Should watch: The Fog of War. Manchurian Candidate, since he and Cheney
helped cover up mind control experiments in the 70s. Frontline documentary
The Torture Question, in which we see a Rumsfeld memo saying “ I
stand for 8-10 hours a day. Why is standing [by prisoners] limited to
4 hours a day?” Just one example why at least 6 U.S. generals have
retired from the military so they could speak out against him. Which reminds
me, add Mutiny on the Bounty and The Caine Mutiny to his viewing list.
Notice anything wrong here? Not ONE of these characters named Night of The Living Dead or Texas Chainsaw Massacre as their favorite movie, that’s what. Most of these people don’t need horror movies; their arrogant and abusive policies are recklessly creating our own collective real-life horror movie. One I wish I didn’t have my eyes propped open for.
1 Associated Press, September 14, 2005
2 http://www.classroomhelp.com/lessons/Presidents/gbush.html
3 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6401632/site/newsweek/
4 http://www.poppolitics.com/articles/2003-05-01-henryv.shtml
5 http://reid.senate.gov/kids_faq.cfm
6 http://clinton4.nara.gov/WH/kids/html/bill.html
7 The Los Angeles Times, August 24, 2004
8 http://www.csmonitor.com/2003/1029/p01s04-uspo.html
9 http://www.buchanan.org/no-00-1101-whyperotscrewedoverbuchanan.html
10 Associated Press, September 14, 2005
11 http://www.taemag.com/issues/articleid.16492/article_detail.asp
12 Associated Press, September 14, 2005
13 http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/mediamix/2004-02-22-media-mix_x.htm
14 Associated Press, September 14, 2005
15 http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49910-2004Nov14.html
16 http://www.billoreilly.com/pg/jsp/billsfavorites/billsfavoritemovies.jsp;jsessionid=B9F3D363147A81FD74273103F672CEE3